[in the tune of “Spider Pig”]
Slouchy Bond. Slouchy Bond. Does whatever a Slouchy Bond does. Can he smile in a wig? No, he can’t. He’s a Bond. Look out, he’s a Slouchy Bond.
Slouchy Bond. Slouchy Bond. Marries the “ugly” girl cuz he can. Can he smile in a bed? Not even then. He’s asleep. Look out, he’s a Slouchy Bond.
Slouchy Bond. Slouchy Bond. Trained as a ninja, by Samuel L. Can he yell in a robe? Not a chance. He’s a grump. Look out, he’s a Slouchy Bond.
You Only Live Twice: Teetering on the Precipice
by Tom Wilcox (@TRWilcox)
“They killed James Bond. They KILLED JAMES BOND! And I just found out who he was!”
I don’t remember how old I was when I first watched You Only Live Twice. Somewhere in the single-digits, seven or eight? We’ll say eight.
The iconic gun barrel opening set the tone. Action! Excitement! Take-no-prisoners surf guitar!
It opens in outer space. Two astronauts maneuvering a capsule, the Jupiter 16. (I could have pulled that out of my memory even if I hadn’t just rewatched the movie. “Jupiter 16” is just one of those things you remember.) Another larger, more menacing ship approaches. It swallows them whole, like a shark, leaving one astronaut to float off to his death. They certainly had my attention. This movie meant business. (more…)
This is the fifth essay in a 23-part series about the James Bond cinemas. I encourage everyone to comment and join in on an extended conversation about not only the films themselves, but cinematic trends, political and other external influences on the series’ tone and direction.
by James David Patrick
Though one could potentially argue this point, the first four James Bond films were legitimate attempts to translate Ian Fleming’s character to the big screen. Though Dr. No, From Russia With Love, Goldfinger and Thunderball embellished the more winsome characteristics of 007, they ultimately remained largely free from the old “nudge nudge wink wink.”
The fifth James Bond film, You Only Live Twice, however, represents a significant shift toward not only silliness but self-parody. How did this happen at the peak of James Bond’s global popularity? Why did EON change the formula? Was the shift even intentional? These questions lingered weeks after watching this polarizing Bond adventure. I decided to do some digging and along with the help of some irresponsible conjecture I feel like I’ve solved the murder case nobody knew they wanted cracked: who murdered James Bond’s You Only Live Twice? First a round up of the usual suspects:
(I never thought I’d get to combine Clue and Casablanca references in the same breath.)
(more…)Holy shit! Two minutes to #Bond_age_ Get your #YOLT‘s FIRED UP!
— 007hertzrumble (@007hertzrumble)
I can’t see any space crap in Bond movies and not instantly recoil from memories of Moonraker. #YOLT
— 007hertzrumble (@007hertzrumble)
This intro is decidedly unsexy. Unless you have a lava fetish. #YOLT
— 007hertzrumble (@007hertzrumble)