#HoorayForBond_age_! – A Personal And Oral History of #Bond_age_
by Krissy Myers
I’ve decided to entitle my love letter to an awkward as hell hashtag with one that is equally unusual. A tag that is perhaps somewhat indecipherable by anyone that has never joined me in a #Bond_age_ livetweet. Allow me to explain.
When I first discovered #Bond_age_, it was in its infancy. Jay Patrick was still using tumblr to post his essays. Being in the throws of my initial rekindling of my love for all things Bond, Tumblr was (and still is) the natural habitat for the fan that wished to go from the realm of casual interest into the territory of the true obsessive. I was ready. I was RIPE. Jay wrote his essays with a certain level of literacy that was lacking in most articles about Bond outside of conventional sources for film critique. When I discovered that Jay was hosting a livetweet for my favourite Bond film, The Spy Who Loved Me, also known around these parts as #TSWLM, I decided to join.
I was welcomed immediately and warmly. Jay was a great host and the other tweeters were smart and funny. They had clearly been familiar with my favourite television series, Mystery Science Theater 3000. I had found my people. During my first livetweet, I decided to coin my own hashtag: #HoorayForSexism. It was to annotate my own observations about the light-hearted and casual misogyny in an equally nonchalant way. At the time, my tweets probably seemed casual, too, but I must admit that it was also a bit of a litmus test.
Even though plenty of ladies were to be found in Bond movies, women in the fandom that celebrates all things 007 were (and still are) uncommon. Mainly due to the misogyny I (a woman) was mocking. Yet, rather than be ostracized and labeled as an uptight feminazi I’m sure I would have been in other circles, my lighthearted riffing was not only embraced, but encouraged.
This was the quality, above all else, that made #Bond_age_ stand out to me as a community. My contributions were taken seriously. It was the first time I felt that I had found a space where I could be blunt and honest about my opinions on not just Bond, but on any film. #HoorayForSexism became one of the very first #bond_age_ memes. It became as much a part of our vernacular as “the peppers,” #PartyMoore and #pewpewpew that was born in #Moonraker a week later. It was the dawn of #Bond_age_ as it’s known today. The fact that there was an entire podcast dedicated to #Bond_age_ memes alone speaks volumes about its effectiveness as a community and the subcultural aspects that naturally evolved due to dedicated member involvement. We were the goth kids, the punk rockers, the ravers and v a p o r w a v e r s of Bond fandom at large.
Naturally, with #Bond_age_ Grand Poobah Jay being a savvy sort, these memes started to permeate his original series of essays for all of the Bond films. The tweets started to shape the meatier and more intellectual content of #Bond_age_. Like all good comedy, the jokes lent themselves to the genesis of a greater conversation. The “My Favourite #Bond_age_” Series was born and regular #Bond_age_ tweeters were promoted to essayists, myself included. Being the High Priestess of all things Roger Moore, I wrote two pro-Party Moore articles for the series – one for my previously mentioned favourite #TSWLM and one for For Your Eyes Only, aka #FYEO. Each of the writers got to host (or co-host) their own livetweet for each film they wrote for. Then once #Bond_age_Pod came into production, myself and others took the lead in conversation more often than not. #Bond_age_TV content has very little content and input from Jay at all, especially my own spinoff series for The Prisoner. The fact that Jay allowed other members of #Bond_age_ to have their stage time was really telling. Like all good leaders, he knew when to step back and let others take charge and speak their mind.
On a personal level, writing those two My Favourite #Bond_age_ essays (along with my article on Patrick McGoohan andDanger Man) was extremely gratifying to me, as they were the first serious pieces of film writing I’d penned since film school. It gave me a new outlet for others — Bond fan, Prisoner fan and layperson alike — to see my writing. Other people, other WOMEN in particular, became interested in the spy genre because #Bond_age_ provided me with a satellite to transmit my passion. It fostered growth, confidence and even job opportunities and professional networking in my personal life. That’s right, I’ve made ACTUAL MONEY because of #Bond_age_.
Most importantly, though, #Bond_age_ has enriched and forged friendships new and old. If it weren’t for my discovery of #Bond_age_, I would have never met or befriended people like #Bond_age_TV cohort Greg McCambley, the other wonderful #Bond_age_ regulars, Aaron Reynolds of Bat Labels and Swear Trek and countless other people known in the Comic Book and Entertainment industries. These relationships have played an integral part in my development as an individual and made my life better.
But most important of all, I must extend my most sincere thanks to Jay Patrick. In the four years I’ve had the pleasure of your online acquaintance, you have been something of brother to me. Words cannot express how much I owe to you and your project. Thank you for always being there for me when I needed someone to talk to. Thank you for always taking me seriously. It means a lot to me as a woman and as a person. If we ever get a chance to meet in person, please don’t be surprised if I hug you so tightly you pass out.
To celebrate the special occasion we’re finally live tweeting Spectre!
I know that probably seems counterintuitive considering my opinions about the film. After all, they’ve been well documented here and here and here and here. One official #Bond_age_ essay, a review, and two podcasts. That’s a whole lot of anti-Spectre material I’ve put out into the world. And that’s not even counting my anti-Sam Smith maniacal ravings. In a way, Spectre‘s been a gift to #Bond_age_. That “way” is backwards and convoluted and only makes sense in the world of online riffing, but it’s true. We’d become complacent here at #Bond_age_.
The Craig era has offered us — and opinions will differ, of course — one truly great and two solid entries into the 24-film canon. Even if you’re in an anti-Craig, Quantum, or Skyfall camp, you have to admit that there’s very little truly great fodder in that film for mockery or bemusement. There’s certainly no “These bubbles tickle my Tchaikovsky!” moments. This brings us to Spectre, a veritable cornucopia of missteps and narrative stupidity. Some may have been entertained, but entertained or not, I charge you with pointing out the film’s flaws and admitting to the world that shooting down a helicopter with a pee-shooter pistol from a speedboat is dumb. It’s just dumb!
I love to hate Spectre. And now we all get the chance to spew our affection and/or #facepalm and/or hatred onto the Interwebs with reckless abandon. I return to the notion that Spectre is a gift, not a curse. Though, perhaps it is both.
The last couple months at #Bond_age_ have brought our little live tweet organization some hardships. The #Bond_age_ family has had its share of loss and disappointment in 2016. As a result of some of these life interruptions and challenges, we’ve dropped from three hosts to one. The hosting duties have fallen squarely on me… and there have been some unfortunate gaps in programming as I’ve tried to keep up.
So that brings me to the heart-to-heart portion of this post. After #Bond_age_versary 4, I’ve considered hanging up the #Bond_age_ tuxedo. I pour so much of my time into this particular endeavor that many other things have suffered. In 2012, I fancied #Bond_age_ a brief 23-week respite from my then labored fiction-writing process. I’d worked on a novel for a year and I felt angry and frustrated.
The #Bond_age_ exercise turned into a 100,000 word manuscript and 200+ weeks later, here we are. We’ve live tweeted all Bond films at least three times (except Spectre, of course). 40+ Bond imposters. Selections from many of our favorite TV shows including The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Remington Steele and The Avengers. The entire series of The Prisoner. Plus some odds and ends. I don’t know if this counts as an “accomplishment” per say, but it feels like something.
#Bond_age_ has forged many new friendships — many of which extend beyond the realm of the online sphere. I’m grateful for each and every person that’s contributed to #Bond_age_ through live tweets and My Favorite #Bond_age_ writeups and even offhand conversations on Twitter. #Bond_age_ is #Bond_age_ because of you. I just keep the lights on.
Quite honestly, I don’t know what 2017 will bring for #Bond_age_. This year has been so disheartening on so many levels, personally and professionally. Over the next few weeks I’ll figure out the place James Bond and #Bond_age_ will have in our lives in 2017, but for right now I want to focus on this celebratory, commemorative, happy-time occasion. #Bond_age_ turns 4. That’s reason to celebrate and enjoy the moment…
…with the live tweet of Spectre, for all the goddamn marbles.
We live tweet SPECTRE, on Wednesday December 7th @ 9pm ET. Follow #Bond_age_ hashtag.
As with all our Bond tweets, we live by the BYOM (Bring Your Own Movie) rule. So pop in those DVDs and Blu-rays or spin those digital copies.
If for some reason you don’t own Casino Royale (fix that, btw), you might be able to find a copy online at say…. Dailymotion.com. It’s just a thought. Maybe try there.
Show starts at 9pm ET. Follow the #Bond_age_ hash and sprinkle in some #CR10 when you feel like it.
“A dry martini,” [Bond] said. “One. In a deep champagne goblet.”
“Oui, monsieur.”
“Just a moment. Three measures of Gordon’s, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it’s ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon peel. Got it?”
“Certainly, monsieur.” The barman seemed pleased with the idea.
“Gosh, that’s certainly a drink,” said Leiter.
Bond laughed. “When I’m…er…concentrating,” he explained, “I never have more than one drink before dinner. But I do like that one to be large and very strong and very cold and very well-made. I hate small portions of anything, particularly when they taste bad. This drink’s my own invention. I’m going to patent it when I can think of a good name.”
—Ian Fleming, Casino Royale, Chapter 7, “Rouge et Noir’
Later in the novel, after Bond first meets Vesper, he asks to borrow the name. And thus the Vesper martini was born in Ian Fleming’s Casino Royale. But before you run off to make the perfect Vesper for your Casino Royale 10th Anniversary parties, let’s dwell on some details. Preferably details that will make you sound incredibly snobbish at gatherings, am I right?
Fleming’s friend Ivar Bryce first concocted the recipe for the Vesper martini in the early 1950’s. Since then, however, the ingredients are no longer Bryce’s. If you search for the recipe, you’ll note many variations of the drink. I’ve collected a dozen slightly different variations on the original — and yes, I’ve made and tried them all.
Let’s start with the basics as detailed by Fleming.
The Vesper Martini (from Casino Royale):
3oz Gordon’s gin
1oz vodka
1/2oz Kina Lillet
Shake all ingredients. Strain into a martini glass and add a lemon twist.
Gordon’s gin is not Gordon’s gin. North American Gordon’s is mixing gin, sold by the barrel. It tastes accordingly like swill. Even the superior British Gordon’s has been reformulated to 75 proof from the original 94.6. (A 94.6 proof Gordon’s Export gin exists out there in the wild, but I’ve not yet had the pleasure of procuring a bottle for Vesper sampling.)
Likewise, the vodka Fleming would have used was 100-proof, whereas the vodka currently in your cabinet is likely a 90. Though, this is merely a note for obsessives or people who want to find themselves under the table a little faster. But there is a reason for the high alcohol content of the drink. The shaking produces a greater dilution. If you find yourself with lower proof vodka, dare I say, you might consider stirring your Vesper — which would actually more align with Bond’s stated wish for a drink that is cold. Stirring actually creates the colder drink.
Now the main reason for so many modern Vesper martini variations. Kina Lillet removed quinine from the drink in 1986 and became merely Lillet or Lillet Blanc. The Lillet sold in stores today is most definitely not a straight substitute for Fleming’s Kina Lillet. Modern Lillet is sweeter and doesn’t have enough bite to rise above 3 measures of gin. It never stood a chance.
All that said, here’s my current preferred formulation, including liquors of choice.
007hertzrumble’s Vesper Martini:
2.5oz gin (Tanqueray 10)
1.0oz vodka (Stoli Blue label – 100 proof)
1/2oz Cocchi Americano
splash of lemon juice or even Lillet (each balanced the drink in different ways)
Shake all ingredients. Strain into a martini glass and add a lemon twist.
My preferred gin for martinis has become Tanqueray 10. I find it smoother than the other regular, commercially available gins. Don’t get fancy with your gin in this drink. Find your martini standard and stick with it. For vodka authenticity I stick with the 100-proof Stoli Blue label, but you probably won’t notice the difference between 90 and 100 unless you’re sipping side-by-side.
Replace the extinct Kina Lillet with Cocchi Americano, an Italian apertif wine that contains quinine. In case you’re concerned about never actually finishing that bottle of Cocchi Americano, look up the recipe for a Corpse Reviver #2. You’ll finish the bottle. (You can also try Lillet with two drops of bitters as a substitute, but I wasn’t fond of the bitters and Lillet combo.)
About that splash of lemon juice/Lillet. I hate to say this, but after trying to perfect the Vesper recipe over the last couple years, I’ve concluded that the Vesper is a challenging beverage. And by challenging, I mean it’s quite abrasive. And perhaps this is for the best because more than two of these and you’ll be buggered. The splash of lemon or Lillet sweetens the package just enough. Too much, however, and the drink tastes really confused. It’s a fine line between perfection and a straight up kerfuffle.
For a sweeter version, remove the Cocchi and just add 2/3oz of Lillet and the splash of lemon to give the flavor a fighting chance. Adjust as necessary.
Still, despite the barriers to entry, I’ve come to enjoy these martini half-breeds. Partly because I’m a Bond enthusiast and partly because I find the perfect Vesper slightly elusive. I’ve made a few great ones at home and had one perfect Vesper martini at a French restaurant — which swapped the gin and vodka ratios (3:1 vodka to gin) and used extra Lillet… which I’ve also attempted at home.
Here’s my best attempt at the inversion.
007herzrumble’s Inverted Vesper martini:
3oz vodka (Belvedere or Grey Goose)
1oz gin (Tanqueray 10)
2/3oz Lillet
Stir (blasphemy!) — no really, stir — all ingredients in the shaker. Strain into a martini glass and add a lemon twist.
A personal warning — never — never ever ever ever drink more than 2 Vespers of any variety. If you need a refresher about how to make a standard, straight up dry martini, here’s a YouTube video that uses my preferred recipe with a bunch of guys who are mostly less annoying that most YouTube bartenders.
On November 14th, 2006, the world officially met James Blond when he brutalized a goon in a men’s room with a shocking scene of close-combat fisticuffs. In high-contrast black and white — a distinct and bold stylistic choice, something Bond films had been lacking. Casino Royale (2006) brought a classic Fleming novel to the big screen, with specific attention to the tone and style. Director Martin Campbell’s second successful resuscitation of the Bond franchise. This was a classic Fleming Bond character — dour, gritty — repackaged for the 21st century. A stunning turnaround after the Bond in Wonderland fantasy world of Die Another Day.
In the years since, Casino Royale (2006) has been indoctrinated into Bond’s exclusive top tier, regularly mentioned alongside the gold standards — From Russia with Love, Goldfinger and On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. The film spawned the first direct James Bond sequel in Quantum of Solace (which only has a bad reputation, I’m convinced, because of direct comparison to Casino Royale).
Some might ding the film for aping Bourne‘s cinematography and shaky-cam, but beyond the new superficial Bond “realism,” Martin Campbell slowed down the pace and focused on the Bond essentials. Liquor, cards, women, and memorable villainy. To celebrate the film’s first decade, #Bond_age_ would like to have a party for all of our friends. Let’s all raise a vesper martini this Wednesday to toast Casino Royale’s 10th.
Join #Bond_age_ for the Casino Royale 10th Anniversary Live Tweet on Wednesday, November 16th @ 9pm ET. Follow #Bond_age_ hashtag.
Welcome to Sir Roger’s 89th Birthday Clip-o-Rama Extravaganza! I’ve uploaded everything into a YouTube playlist. All you need to do is hit PLAY at 9pm ET. It’s a random assortment of lunacy worthy of only Sir Roger.
Edit: Disney has seen it necessary to block the usage of the ending of Roger’s Muppet Show appearance, thus forcing me to host the finale on this website. It’ll appear beneath the YouTube parade. I found the incomplete clip elsewhere on the YouTubes but I want the whole damn finale. Nothing but the best for fans of #Bond_age_ and Roger Moore. This merely means that you’ll have to hit play on one final video.
