You asked for James Bond Limericks?
No? Well, you’ll wish you had.

An offhand Twitter comment about James Bond Limericks led to a flurry of Limericking among #Bond_age_ fans today. Below you will find the (ongoing) fruits of our labors.

@GregMcCambley

In the Living Daylights

we see an actor named Timothy.

He became Bond.

The public they yawned

and he left after two films, not three.

Bond_line_break

@GregMcCambley

Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd

Killing was all they did.

They went after Bond

but both got pwned.

One died by a flipped lid.

Bond_line_break

@echidnabot

There once was a dude called Chris Lee

Who numbered his mammaries three

Maud Adams was thrilled

After each man he killed.

Between deaths Nick Nack called out “Me!”

Bond_line_break

@p2wy

There once was a villain named Blofeld

whose villa was flooded by snowmelt

His dungeon was drenched

his henchmen wouldn’t flench

despite his best “Dr. No yell”

Bond_line_break

@p2wy, @kimmiechem2 & @007hertzrumble

There once was a Bond named Moore

whose actions one might deplore.

He starred in seven movies

and saw so many boobies

that you might call him a whore.

Bond_line_break

 @kimmiechem2

Twas a gal named Domino

with face of lilywhite snow

vowed to avenge

François’s bitter end and so,

killed evil Largo

Bond_line_break

@filmchild

There was a young man named Roger

who referred obliquely to his todger.

The girls they came.

The villains were tame.

And Grace Jones refused to be his lodger.

Bond_line_break

@007hertzrumble

Bond adored a girl named Tanya

and said put this negligee on ya.

Then Red Grant boarded the train.

Their “romance” appeared in vain

until Red didn’t know his wine from Champagna.

Bond_line_break

@p2wy

There once was henchman named Jaws,

who almost had Bond in his claws.

He saved Bond in orbit

and splashed down to earth with

a buxom young blonde in his paws.

Bond_line_break

@TRWilcox

There once was a man named Lazenby,

who entered the franchise quite brazenly.

He grappled brilliantly with Kojak,

but did the audience to Connery go back?

They left George standing there holding his Dazenby

 

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James Bond Limericks: Twitter phenomenon

by 007hertzrumble time to read: 1 min
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