We learned an interesting tidbit about the soon-to-be-in-production Bond 25 this morning. Shooting begins on April 6th at Pinewood Studios under the working title “Shatterhand.”
Seeing as how “Shatterhand” serves as Ernst Stavro Blofeld alias in Ian Fleming’s You Only Live Twice novel, we can derive a few choice tidbits from this small piece of information. But first let’s rewind to talk about the goings on since my last dispatch about the long overdue Bond 25 production.
Bourne Ultimatum screenwriter Scott Z Burns has been added to the team of wordsmiths with their hand in the Bond 25 pot. Burns has been brought on, reportedly, for a rewrite on the drafts by Purvis and Wade and Haggis and maybe even Mr. Magoo, who, though uncredited, must have had a hand in crafting the perfectly sensible Spectre plot. Burns has garnered a reputation as being one of the go-to screenwriting doctors in Hollywood.
A number of sources have suggested that Burns’ involvement involves more than a polish, and we shouldn’t be surprised if he receives top billing when all is said and done. He’s done uncredited emergency surgery on films such as The Bourne Supremacy, Widows and Star Wars: Rogue One. I love the fact that EON has brought in fresh blood to “overhaul” the Bond 25 script.
And now what “Shatterhand” tells us about the potential direction of Bond 25.
BLOFELD IS BACK. Seeing as how the term comes from the Blofeld alias, we’re all but assured of a re-emergence of the Blofeld character. As of today, however, Christoph Waltz was still out — so the production will be returning to the amorphous Blofeld appearance which Fleming made a prominent component in his novels. The Bond films primarily made use of this element because of casting convenience. EON will once again return to the rotating Blofeld theory as a means to start fresh after Spectre, but only a little fresh.
GARDEN OF DEATH? In the novel You Only Live Twice, James Bond mourns the death of Tracy by retreating into an alcoholic stupor, in order to revive the slagging career of the agent, M sends him to Japan on a cupcake diplomatic mission. While in Japan, the head of the Japanese Secret Service (Tiger Tanaka) challenges Bond to assassinate a Swiss botanist by the name of Dr. Guntram Shatterhand who has been employing a garden of death to facilitate a rash of suicides by Japanese citizens. Shatterhand is, of course, the refashioned Blofeld, having undergone another physical transformation. I’ve said from the first moment EON announced the return of Blofeld that the only reason to see this character in a Bond movie again would be to film the unused portions of You Only Live Twice, i.e. the Garden of Death.
AVENGING THE DEATH OF TRACY MADELEINE. Tracy can’t be Tracy, but Tracy could be Madeleine and the last thing that Bond needs is another dead woman to avenge. Listen — we’ve seen this before. And better. Madeleine Swann pales in comparison to Vesper. Does anyone believe that Bond fell madly, deeply, truly in love with Madeleine in Spectre? Purely a contrivance to service a poorly constructed narrative. Spectre didn’t earn yet another revenge plot a la Vesper or Tracy.
I’m skeptical, too, Madeleine.
007hertzrumble’s “Shatterhand” Commentary
The Internet is already on fire because “Shatterhand” is “ridiculous” (the Daily Mail) and a “face-palm” (The Guardian). First point, before we go any further down this road. IT’S A WORKING TITLE BECAUSE IT’S NOT OFFICIAL. The working title for Stanley Kubrick’s 2001 was “How the Solar System Was Won” for goodness sakes. It might be “Shatterhand;” it might not be “Shatterhand.” I for one hope “Shatterhand” turns out to be legitimate, because LIGHTEN UP, EVERYONE.
Since when did James Bond fans turn into such dour goddamn stick-in-the-muds? Line up “Shatterhand” with Goldfinger and Thunderball and it doesn’t seem out of place at all. Daniel Craig’s been a game player in this saga, but the series has lost one of its earliest and most vital components — a sense of humor. Calling your movie “Shatterhand” suggests some of that devil-may-care whimsy we’ve been missing in the Craig era — and you’d need it if you’re going to dare showcase a Garden of Death. Just because Cragiers fell on a couch in the opening sequence of Spectre doesn’t mean it actually attempted a sustained undercurrent of humor. It wasn’t there — and it hasn’t been there since Vesper died. If EON dropped the name GOLDFINGER on you tomorrow for the first time, it would be tarred, feathered, roasted and thrown in the garbage heap of Internet memes by lunchtime. “Fans” don’t know what they want, but at least they’re predictable in that they’ll hate everything.
Regarding the suggestiveness of “Shatterhand,” I’m conflicted. In order to finally witness the Death Garden on screen, the filmmakers likely will continue threads initiated in Spectre. We risk Madeleine being an ersatz Tracy Bond and dying so that we might experience yet another bit of Craig-brand “revenge.” Craig would be best served by progressing in a fashion reminiscent of the old days. When something didn’t fly with fans, EON moved on without looking back — for better or worse. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service didn’t play well with 1969 audiences, so when EON followed that up with Diamonds Are Forever in 1971 it proceeded as if it never happened at all. Proceed as if Spectre didn’t happen. Liberate your creative forces to do what they do best. Create, without being tethered to the past. And call it “Shatterhand” — because WHY NOT? I’m looking forward to a bit of color back in my Bond.
Also, has there ever been a title song more perfect for Arctic Monkeys’ self-aware lounge swagger?
On June 12th, 1967, You Only Live Twice premiered at the Odeon Leicester Square in London. James Bond had reached a cultural apex with Thunderball — and in fact, Thunderball remained the biggest Bond moneymaker until Skyfall rolled up in 2012. Queen Elizabeth II attended the premiere, her first. James Bond had become omnipresent. According to the genre lists at flickchart.com, 1966 and 1967 together witnessed the release of more than 60 non-James Bond spy films. Quite simply no one was bigger in 1967 than 007.
Critics largely praised the scope and scale of the film, but many were left nonplussed by the increasing importance of the gadgets and nonsense finale. Roger Ebert said You Only Live Twice failed “to work its magic.” The film continues to cause a schism among fans. IGN ranked YOLT as the 4th best. Entertainment Weekly, the 2nd best. The proprietor of this here #Bond_age_ project (that would be me) just yesterday on Twitter called it “creatively bankrupt.” (Yes. I just cited myself, goddammit.)
But none of that matters. In the realm of #Bond_age_, we bring our snark and reverence and sincere enjoyment of James Bond. And in the live tweet arena, few James Bond films provide greater opportunity for both snark and reverence than You Only Live Twice.
As much as I love to hate You Only Live Twice, I love to love the You Only Live Twice Live Tweet.
Join #Bond_age_ on Wednesday, June 14th @ 9pm ET for the You Only Live Twice 50th Anniversary Live Tweet extravaganza.
Love erupts and cultures clash in this hilarious fish-out-of-water comedy about two boys and two girls lost in the Orient. Sean Connery is James, a dashing mild-mannered British importer/exporter who meets cute as a button Japanese tourist Kissy Suzuki (Mie Hama), and embarks on a whiz bang romance. Now, on their way to meet Kissy’s large family back home in Japan, the pair is accompanied by James’ bumbling ugly ducking Oxford pal Ernst (Donald Pleasance) and Kissy’s traveling companion Aki. Can the quartet find happiness? Will James and Kissy tie the knot? And what’s the true story behind Ernst’s scar? The only certainty in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE is soy-flavored fun!
You Only Live Twice Opening Remixed w/ Pizzicato Five
The lawsuit that began in 1961 regarding the rights and ownership to parts of the James Bond franchise has finally ended. The legal battle began when Ian Fleming used part of a screenplay he’d co-authored with Kevin McClory to write the novel Thunderball. In 1961, McClory sued over ownership rights, rights that Fleming had sold to EON/MGM to produce the James Bond films based on his novels. In 1983, a London court permitted McClory the rights to produce his own James Bond novel based on the screenplay he and Fleming and written (before any of the actual James Bond movies had been produced). That movie became Never Say Never Again. In 2001, a California court dismissed McClory’s claim to royalties because he’d waited too long to make his case. After more than 50 years, MGM/Danjaq, LLC has finally ended the dispute by making an undisclosed settlement to acquire all outstanding rights from McClory’s holding company, a company now run by his heirs (McClory passed in 2006). Friends and family attributed Fleming’s rapid decline in health to the stress brought about by the McClory lawsuit. As a result, Bond fans have long demonized McClory (and probably with good reason), but the most apparent outcome of the whole disagreement was that EON’s James Bond series lost the use of SPECTRE organization and the Blofeld character, who was unceremoniously executed in For Your Eyes Only as a parting gesture (a middle finger?) to McClory.
Now, with the rights to Blofeld and SPECTRE restored, fans are suggesting (some demanding!) that Blofeld and SPECTRE might return in Bond 24 and/or beyond.
If you’ve hung on my every tweet regarding the future of the Bond franchise, you’ve probably read my pleas for Bond 24 to regain some of the “smug” and humor that graced the series throughout its history. Craig’s Bond has been put through the ringer. He’s been tortured. He’s watched loved ones die — his lover and his mother figure. He’s gone off the reservation in the name of revenge and lived to tell about it. He’s starred in three relatively bleak movies and done his share of T-Dalt-inspired smoldering. Craig hasn’t had the change to have some good, old fashioned Bond fun. Skis. Winter sports. Puns and wit worthy of a Roger Moore eyebrow raise. Serial womanizing and gawking of which Connery would be proud. Even Dalton got to go sledding in a cello case. But in addition to all of this, I desperately want EON to capitalize on the build-up of the QUANTUM shadow organization as established in Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace but abandoned in Skyfall.
What this means, more acutely, is this: Just Say No to the Return of Blofeld.
Book Blofeld frightened through unlimited power and connections. He was an imposing, mysterious figure of menace. Movie Blofeld became a joke. The only Blofeld that was worth anything was Telly Savalas in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service but even he didn’t really capture the menace. EON executed Blofeld in For Your Eyes Only with good reason. Even though they couldn’t legally use him anymore, Blofeld had overstayed his welcome. Two of my least favorite Bond movies showcased Blofeld as the primary villain: You Only Live Twice and Diamonds Are Forever. In one Donald Pleasance played him as a cartoon and in the other Charles Gray dressed in drag and couldn’t have frightened a jittery chihuahua. Blofeld should have been dismissed in the post-OHMSS revenge plot that never happened. But we’re beyond that. We’re beyond Blofeld and SPECTRE, and Craigers’ Bond still has unsettled debts with QUANTUM.
QUANTUM was responsible for the death of Vesper Lynd. A new villain behind that organization should emerge. A new villain would finally put the rumors of Neo-Blofeld to bed (as if dropping him down a smokestack wasn’t enough). It would not be impossible for QUANTUM to turn out to be SPECTRE with Blofeld at the helm, but this twist would be a disingenuous, forced narrative twist that would only pander to nostalgic fans. QUANTUM has been established as a new shadow organization for a new Bond era. They know that we know that QUANTUM was never set up to be SPECTRE. Let’s not turn back the clock to relive the embarrassing missteps of Bond movies past.
One final, selfish note:
I’m on the verge of being able to order the entire Bond franchise into a reasonable timeline that considers the major plot points, actors playing Bond in different stages of his career. Reintroducing Blofeld/SPECTRE in the Craig era (post-Skyfall, anyway) means major snafus. We already have the “Blofeld doesn’t recognize Bond in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service” situation to deal with.
Things got pretty crazy at my house before the live tweet when my toddler toddled into the floorboard and busted open her eyebrow. Only a couple of saved tweets and I had to disappear for a spell during the You Only Live Twice presentation, but goddamn, SLOUCHY BOND still won the day.
