April 23rd, 2014 – The Tournament of Bonds launches with the 16 seed: the DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER live tweet. We had a few thoughts. Not all of them were especially pleasant.
INITIATE THE DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER LIVE TWEET (before we change our minds)
Watching this video to prepare for tonight’s live tweet of #DAF (just to keep myself in check): http://t.co/ANurc4wyra
— Adam Slusar (@TapwaterAlice) April 24, 2014
Light the #TournamentOfBonds flame. It’s #Bond_age_ time. INITIATE THE 16 SEED, DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER. #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
#daf has one of the cooler arrangements of the JB theme during the gun barrel sequence.
— Drive-In Mob (@DriveInMob) April 24, 2014
RAGE, SLOUCHY BOND. RAGE. #DAF #TournamentOfBonds
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
What you don’t see: Sean Connery pairing socks & sandals in the “bra strangulation” scene. #DAF #notevenjoking
— Adam Slusar (@TapwaterAlice) April 24, 2014
Bond gets his weapons from the dollar store. #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
And these kids are like “Screw you, rich white lady. Umbrellas don’t grow on trees.” #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
Barney Franks, the on-screen debut of Jeffrey Jones. #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
He truly urned that. #DAF
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) April 24, 2014
And now a moment of silence for the death of this movie. #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
@007hertzrumble He was exceedingly bitchy, wasn’t he? #DAF
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) April 24, 2014
Willard Whyte’s casino: where #DAF begins sweating profusely & using the sweat to slick back it’s hair. #Bond_age_
— Adam Slusar (@TapwaterAlice) April 24, 2014
You handle those cubes. Like a monkey. Handles coconuts. It’ll echo in your dreams. #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
if i see clowns…i’m out. #DAF
— Anna Morrison (@AnnaRenee) April 24, 2014
@TapwaterAlice Not directly. NOT DIRECTLY. He’s no Wayne & Garth. #DAF pic.twitter.com/GGNJ4RZamE
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
@TapwaterAlice This guy begs to differ. #DAF #TLD pic.twitter.com/oYoUeJriqh
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
I feel a case of the Hergesheimers coming on. #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
Isn’t asking about *G section* a bit personal? #DAF
— Fussy (@MiddParent) April 24, 2014
boop boop beep bop beep boop #success #DAF
— Anna Morrison (@AnnaRenee) April 24, 2014
Doctor Metz is like a pre-Tommy Wiseau Tommy Wiseau. #DAF #Bond_age_
— Adam Slusar (@TapwaterAlice) April 24, 2014
In case you were wondering Professor Doctor isn’t his parents favorite. Their favorite is his older brother Judge Professor Doctor. #DAF
— Keith Bodayla (@theactualkeith) April 24, 2014
Yeah, just kick the bike. Way to hench. #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
Bond still hasn’t found what he’s looking for. #DAF
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) April 24, 2014
I’m starting to glaze over. #DAF has put me into a catatonic state.
— Fussy (@MiddParent) April 24, 2014
The car lands twice. WHY DOES THE CAR LAND TWICE? #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
@theactualkeith Poor Larry. #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
@theactualkeith Should it be called Larry’s Law instead of Murphy’s? #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
@theactualkeith #PoorLarry #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
I shudder to think what those poor fish in the bed have witnessed. #DAF
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) April 24, 2014
benefit of the doubt has been given to this film and has expired. #DAF
— Anna Morrison (@AnnaRenee) April 24, 2014
You’d think with all these Blofeld’s I’d actually get a f’ing decent scratch around here. #DAF
— Angry Blofeld Kitty (@BlofeldKitty) April 24, 2014
Am I the only one who feels like Sheriff Pepper would have *improved* #DAF? Probably, yea. #Bond_age_
— Adam Slusar (@TapwaterAlice) April 24, 2014
“There’s a miniature version in his vocal chords. But I keep this giant one for nostalgia. It just sounds better.” #DAF #HipsterBlofeld
— Keith Bodayla (@theactualkeith) April 24, 2014
Somebody goofed. They accidentally put in a plot development (the broken perfume bottle) that will be relevant later. #DAF
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) April 24, 2014
@GregMcCambley Bond knows how to lay pipe. #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
Script simply stated: “Bond is then attacked by electric… buzzsaw… thing.” #DAF #Bond_age_
— Adam Slusar (@TapwaterAlice) April 24, 2014
That machine spelled certain doom… but what does it do? #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
FUN FACT: That rat, would stowaway on many ships before finding himself in NYC. He ran into glowing ooze, four turtles, and history. #DAF
— Keith Bodayla (@theactualkeith) April 24, 2014
And now the best part of the film: Bambi and Thumper! #DAF
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) April 24, 2014
“Give me 5 minutes to get up there.” “It’s not that far.” “I know. I need to stop and take off my jacket.” “Why?” “…” #DAF
— Keith Bodayla (@theactualkeith) April 24, 2014
Of course, Bond can only win by playing dirty pool. #DAF
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) April 24, 2014
Bond looks all twitterpated. #BambiAndThumper #DAF
— Anna Morrison (@AnnaRenee) April 24, 2014
“Well hey mister Q!” is nearly up there with “Yo mamma” in terms of obnoxious dialogue in Bond movies… #DAF #Bond_age_
— Adam Slusar (@TapwaterAlice) April 24, 2014
Oh I was supposed to shove my honor and launch the satellite? SHIIIT. I launched my honor and shoved the satellite. #Ouch #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
HAHA. Scaffolding that says DANGER KEEP OFF. Makes me laugh. #DAF
— Keith Bodayla (@theactualkeith) April 24, 2014
RED ROCKET RED ROCKET #DAF #Bond_age_
— Adam Slusar (@TapwaterAlice) April 24, 2014
“We’ve spun every knob and clicked every switch! We can’t do anything to the satellite! Plus the lights here keep flickering!” #DAF
— Keith Bodayla (@theactualkeith) April 24, 2014
The climax should have just been Bond and Blofeld playing Marco Polo instead of naming shit on a map. #DAF #BAJA?!?!
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
After all these satellites with lasers attached to them, you’d think they’d form a committee or something and check these things. #DAF
— Keith Bodayla (@theactualkeith) April 24, 2014
Baja Humbug! #DAF
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) April 24, 2014
Marco! #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
@007hertzrumble POLO #DAF
— Anna Morrison (@AnnaRenee) April 24, 2014
The map in the floor was allegedly a stroke of Harry Saltzman genius. #DAF #Bond_age_
— Adam Slusar (@TapwaterAlice) April 24, 2014
“Your friend with the cat.” “Aunt Ida?” “No, Blofeld.” “Oh. Aunt Ida has a cat, too.” #DAF
— Keith Bodayla (@theactualkeith) April 24, 2014
Bond arrives in true katamari style. #DAF #Bond_age_
— Adam Slusar (@TapwaterAlice) April 24, 2014
We now pause for a Sousa march. #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
@007hertzrumble I know it’s too late, but… #DAF #showmustgoon pic.twitter.com/4pt5wR0iHI
— Nicolás Suszczyk (@NSuszczyk) April 24, 2014
This? Oh this is just my breakup mix tape? It’s got some Chicago, Rod Stewart and Sinead O’Connor. #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
@007hertzrumble Her version of ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’ was OUR song. Not THEIR song… it’s OUR song! *breaks down crying* #DAF
— Keith Bodayla (@theactualkeith) April 24, 2014
“Search him again! Try the other shoulder pad this time!” #DAF
— Keith Bodayla (@theactualkeith) April 24, 2014
Felix knew that that balloon was either the signal, or an invitation to a Nena concert. #DAF
— Keith Bodayla (@theactualkeith) April 24, 2014
Another sign just said “No Pollution. Not Any. Take Precautions.” Nobody read it before making this movie. #DAF
— Keith Bodayla (@theactualkeith) April 24, 2014
@007hertzrumble A sadistic bastard like Blofeld. He also pioneered the art of choosing bridesmaid dresses. #DAF
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) April 24, 2014
PREPARE THE BATH-O-SUB. #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
@007hertzrumble And just like *that* I have this sudden urge to watch Remo Williams… #DAF #Bond_age_
— Adam Slusar (@TapwaterAlice) April 24, 2014
This scene took 3 days to film. They had 3 weeks, but Connery said he had ‘a thing’ to get to. #DAF
— Keith Bodayla (@theactualkeith) April 24, 2014
@TapwaterAlice I imagine him pretending he was in a spaceship and saying “pewpewpew” a lot. #DAF
— Keith Bodayla (@theactualkeith) April 24, 2014
Altogether now. “EEEEEEEEK” #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
Few things are as gracious to behold as Putter Smith approaching with two flaming kebobs. #DAF #Bond_age_
— Adam Slusar (@TapwaterAlice) April 24, 2014
Good thing ‘Bomb Surprise” wasn’t written on the menu. Bond might have figured it out. #DAF
— Keith Bodayla (@theactualkeith) April 24, 2014
@007hertzrumble @TapwaterAlice I will always wonder what animal they slaughtered to record that sound. It’s not human. #DAF
— Keith Bodayla (@theactualkeith) April 24, 2014
@theactualkeith @TapwaterAlice Seriously. If you haven’t heard us discuss EEEEEEEEK on the #Bond_age_Pod you simply must. #DAF
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
@theactualkeith @007hertzrumble Six minutes into the Hatecast & already laughing. #DAF #Bond_age_
— Adam Slusar (@TapwaterAlice) April 24, 2014
DENIS! salutes the commencement of the #TournamentOfBonds and the phrase “tart’s handkerchief.” #DAF pic.twitter.com/EdX8i6OqCV
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) April 24, 2014
This picture is my new favorite everything. #DAF pic.twitter.com/OY16NFo9P6
— Keith Bodayla (@theactualkeith) April 24, 2014
@007hertzrumble When the first bracket of #TournamentofBonds is over and there’s one vote under #DAF, it was me.
— Keith Bodayla (@theactualkeith) April 24, 2014