You asked for James Bond Limericks? No? Well, you’ll wish you had.

An offhand Twitter comment about James Bond Limericks led to a flurry of Limericking among #Bond_age_ fans today. Below you will find the (ongoing) fruits of our labors.

James Bond Limericks - The Living Daylights

@GregMcCambley

In the Living Daylights
we see an actor named Timothy.
He became Bond.
The public they yawned
and he left after two films, not three.

James Bond Limericks - line break

Bond Limericks - Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd from Diamonds are Forever

@GregMcCambley

Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd
Killing was all they did.
They went after Bond
but both got pwned.
One died by a flipped lid.

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Bond Limericks - Man with the Golden Gun

@echidnabot

There once was a dude called Chris Lee
Who numbered his mammaries three
Maud Adams was thrilled
After each man he killed.
Between deaths Nick Nack called out “Me!”

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Bond Limericks - Telly Savalas in On Her Majesty's Secret Service

@p2wy

There once was a villain named Blofeld
whose villa was flooded by snowmelt
His dungeon was drenched
his henchmen wouldn’t flench
despite his best “Dr. No yell”

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Bond Limericks - Roger Moore and Jane Seymour in Live and Let Die

@p2wy, @kimmiechem2 & @007hertzrumble

There once was a Bond named Moore
whose actions one might deplore.
He starred in seven movies
and saw so many boobies
that you might call him a whore.

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Domino and Largo in Thunderball

 @kimmiechem2

Twas a gal named Domino
with face of lilywhite snow
vowed to avenge
François’s bitter end and so,
killed evil Largo

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James Bond Limericks - Roger Moore and Grace Jones in AVTAK

@filmchild

There was a young man named Roger
who referred obliquely to his todger.
The girls they came.
The villains were tame.
And Grace Jones refused to be his lodger.

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James Bond Limericks - From Russia with Love

@007hertzrumble

Bond adored a girl named Tanya
and said put this negligee on ya.
Then Red Grant boarded the train.
Their “romance” appeared in vain
until Red didn’t know his wine from Champagna.

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James Bond Limericks - Moonraker

@p2wy

There once was henchman named Jaws,
who almost had Bond in his claws.
He saved Bond in orbit
and splashed down to earth with
a buxom young blonde in his paws.

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James Bond Limericks - George Lazenby

@TRWilcox

There once was a man named Lazenby,
who entered the franchise quite brazenly.
He grappled brilliantly with Kojak,
but did the audience to Connery go back?
They left George standing there holding his Dazenby