The #Bond_age_ crew had been going through some Party Moore withdrawal. It was almost inevitable that we queued up an old Moore camp favorite. For many of us this was our first time with ffolkes and I can pretty much guarantee it won’t be our last. What’s not to love about a misogynist, kitten-loving off-the-grid commando captain who wears Waldo hats and cross-stitches? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
INITIATE #BOND_AGE_ IMPOSTOR #7: THE ffolkes LIVE TWEET DIGEST!
I just hot glued my finger! Bring on the anti-Bond. INITIATE #BOND_AGE_ IMPOSTOR #7! #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
#ffolkes Cunning hat.
— Kerry (@echidnabot) December 19, 2013
Roger Moore as WALDO in WHERE’S WWALDO? #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
Okay, we’re only 10 seconds in and Roger Moore is already wearing something ridiculous. This is gonna be good. #ffolkes
— T. R. Wilcox (@TRWilcox) December 19, 2013
The name #FFOlkes is a subtle play on “007” — if you mirror the FFO, you get O77 with the Euro-crossed 7’s.
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
A castle in Scotland, and Moore with a beard in a yellow slicker. Anti-Bond is right. #Ffolkes
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) December 19, 2013
I bet the Bonds live across the lake. #Ffolkes
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) December 19, 2013
Oh my. Even I can look like I’ve partied too much some days. #Ffolkes.
— Party Moore (@PartyMoore007) December 19, 2013
#ffolkes‘s alter ego: Captain Ttweed.
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
Make sure to pay close attention to Roger Moore’s pussies. #Ffolkes
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) December 19, 2013
#ffolkes just whipped it out.
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
This movie is making consider whether Roger Moore could’ve played Prof. Quatermass. #ffolkes
— T. R. Wilcox (@TRWilcox) December 19, 2013
“You’re a lucky man”. #ffolkes isn’t a total dick.
— Eddie Love (@EddieLove44) December 19, 2013
That couple is on their way to Fawlty Towers to cause Basil to shake his fists angrily at Manuel. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
“@echidnabot: #ffolkes Moore looks good like this. Tweedy.” definitely an under appreciated and campy fun action movie.
— Michael J. D’Alfonsi (@CalWriter66) December 19, 2013
Pretty sure that Roger Moore’s jacket here came from the Hugo Drax Collection. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
I’m sorry. I’m still staring at Roger Moore’s beard #ffolkes
— Trevor Jost (@tpjost) December 19, 2013
When I see Moore with a beard, it feels like when I would see a teacher during summer break. The same person, but not the same… #Ffolkes
— Anna Morrison (@AnnaRenee) December 19, 2013
@007hertzrumble they just put a bunch of Umlauts all over the place and called it a day. #ffolkes
— T. R. Wilcox (@TRWilcox) December 19, 2013
@TRWilcox Someone wore antlers and had creamed herring too. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
I wore a cunning hat and purchased a cunning bottle of Tanqueray for #Ffolkes #webcamtoy pic.twitter.com/lnQDcjkwkK
— Krissy Myers (@krissy_myers) December 19, 2013
This role is right in Anthony Perkins…wait for it…wheelhouse! #ffolkes
— Eddie Love (@EddieLove44) December 19, 2013
@007hertzrumble you went there. #ffolkes
— Trevor Jost (@tpjost) December 19, 2013
Not only a sadistic killer, but a mocker of accents? The fiend! #Ffolkes
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) December 19, 2013
All they have to do is break Harold’s glasses. He’ll be blind. #cokebottles #ffolkes
— Kerry (@echidnabot) December 19, 2013
Holy shit! They attached a space-heater to the hull of that ship! Fiends! #ffolkes
— Eddie Love (@EddieLove44) December 19, 2013
I’m 99% sure that everyone on this boat has been a guest at Fawlty Towers. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
This film is the Citizen Kane of wool hats. #ffolkes
— Eddie Love (@EddieLove44) December 19, 2013
Say it. You’re a nihilist. Nihilist. Nihilist. Rolls off the tongue. Nihilist. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
Did he say ‘two thousand million’ dollars?!? #Ffolkes
— Anna Morrison (@AnnaRenee) December 19, 2013
He just said, “2 thousand million dollars”. #ffolkes
— T. R. Wilcox (@TRWilcox) December 19, 2013
We’re not terrorists. Terrorists are confused. So I have something in common with terrorists? #Ffolkes
— Mentor (@MentorsCamper) December 19, 2013
I hate the way this film objectifies Jennifer. #Sexism #ffolkes
— Eddie Love (@EddieLove44) December 19, 2013
David Hedison! Above water! #DamnYouSanchez #ffolkes
— Eddie Love (@EddieLove44) December 19, 2013
DID YOU SAY HE WAS STEERING A WHITE PIMPMOFREIGHTER? #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
@007hertzrumble Never apologize for inventing a word like “Pimpmofreighter”. #ffolkes
— T. R. Wilcox (@TRWilcox) December 19, 2013
They’ll be taking orders from both Tony Perkins, and Mother. #ffolkes
— T. R. Wilcox (@TRWilcox) December 19, 2013
@AnnaRenee Most surely intentional based on this movie’s self awareness. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
TWO THOUSAND MEEELLLLION DOLLARS! #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
He said it again! #twothousandmillion #Ffolkes
— Anna Morrison (@AnnaRenee) December 19, 2013
No Canadian Dollars? I am offended! #Ffolkes
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) December 19, 2013
If she doesn’t say that someone has to PUMP someone for information, I’m done with this movie. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
That was rather rude, answering her phone. #Ffolkes
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) December 19, 2013
Evacuate Ruth. Is that a medical order? #ffolkes
— Kerry (@echidnabot) December 19, 2013
Roger Moore’s love for cats in #Ffolkes can be interpreted as a parody of the “pussy” motif in James Bond.
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
“Ruth is serviced by Jennifer”. #HotGirlOnGirlAction #ffolkes
— Eddie Love (@EddieLove44) December 19, 2013
“The 1980s are upon us. We need your oil money for cocaine, shoulder pads and Dutch Reagan Fundraising Dinners.” #ffolkes.
— Krissy Myers (@krissy_myers) December 19, 2013
#Ffolkes Roger Moore is far more badass in this than any Bond role.
— Christian Divine (@Chris_divine) December 19, 2013
He uses whale semen for hair gel. I mean look at that mane. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
Here comes James Mason to chew up the scenery. #Ffolkes.
— Krissy Myers (@krissy_myers) December 19, 2013
#ffolkes has a sweet infomercial!
— Eddie Love (@EddieLove44) December 19, 2013
@007hertzrumble you’re a catty drunk. 🙂 LOL #Ffolkes
— Anna Morrison (@AnnaRenee) December 19, 2013
@AnnaRenee Gin makes me eeeeevil. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
Rufus Excalibur ffolkes. It sounds like the name of one of Peter Ustinov’s cats in Logan’s Run. #ffolkes
— Kerry (@echidnabot) December 19, 2013
“Feels like we’re at a bloody knitting convention.” I went to one just last week by the looks of what I was wearing. #Ffolkes.
— Party Moore (@PartyMoore007) December 19, 2013
“My men know their way around a man’s anatomy.” THAT’S WHAT BOND SAID… ERRR…. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
In his bio, Moore wrote that the crew tried to sedate the livelier cats on set without cat-lover James Mason uncovering the plot #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
That Waldo hat is SUPER distracting #Ffolkes
— Anna Morrison (@AnnaRenee) December 19, 2013
My men know their way around a man’s anatomy. #MysogenySolved #ffolkes
— Eddie Love (@EddieLove44) December 19, 2013
— Krissy Myers (@krissy_myers) December 19, 2013
Kramer wants you now. He says we’re all out of whale semen for my hair. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
C’mon #ffolkes. Michael Caine would’ve killed all the terrorists and blown the bloody doors off by now.
— T. R. Wilcox (@TRWilcox) December 19, 2013
Now how many cinematic heroes cross stitch? HOW MANY? #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
A “ffolkes drinking” drinking game would be epic. #Ffolkes
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) December 19, 2013
@GregMcCambley He’s probably too busy making sure everything is up to dogme standards. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
@echidnabot All part of his experiment to cross the North Sea to prove the Mayans built the first oil rig… something like that #ffolkes
— T. R. Wilcox (@TRWilcox) December 19, 2013
Who keeps their pipes next to their poison? I call bullshit. #ffolkes
— Eddie Love (@EddieLove44) December 19, 2013
What about ExcaliPURR ? @tpjost: I’m naming my next cat Rufus Excalibur ffolkes. #ffolkes
— faithlesjuliet (@faithlesjuliet) December 19, 2013
Anthony Perkins wears “phoning gloves” instead of driving gloves. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
@AnnaRenee If he says “Mother” at any point, I’m gonna plotz. And I’ve seen a tonne of Tony Perkins films. #Ffolkes
— Krissy Myers (@krissy_myers) December 19, 2013
@TRWilcox Well, the woman in this scene may be wearing something from the Shelley Duvall Collection too. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
Gay subtexts and blatant sexism. This is #ffolkes
— Trevor Jost (@tpjost) December 19, 2013
Make sure your farts are all tuned to A440. #ffolkes
— T. R. Wilcox (@TRWilcox) December 19, 2013
Can you fart in different keys? #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
Man, everyone in this film has a lousy sense of humour. #ffolkes
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) December 19, 2013
What was the hat budget on this film? #ffolkes
— Kerry (@echidnabot) December 19, 2013
Wait a minute? You mean…women AREN’T useless? #ffolkes
— Eddie Love (@EddieLove44) December 19, 2013
@007hertzrumble I ignored the Internet for a few days and missed the heads up on #ffolkes . Dammit! Roger is such a sweet cat lady in that.
— WILL JOHNSON (@BingoLollipop) December 19, 2013
#ffolkes is proof that I WOULD watch a 90-minute movie about Roger Moore cross-stitching.
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
@GregMcCambley That blowed up real good. #ffolkes
— Kerry (@echidnabot) December 19, 2013
@AnnaRenee They make wonderful stocking stuffers. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
Fine phoning gloves, only at Macy’s. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
When did gloves go out of style? #ffolkes
— Trevor Jost (@tpjost) December 19, 2013
I hope the phoning gloves got fourth billing in this movie. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
Now they’re synchronizing gloves. #ffolkes
— Kerry (@echidnabot) December 19, 2013
This movie is just one steady stream of unusual conveyances after another. #Ffolkes
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) December 19, 2013
I didn’t ask for the size of his underwear. #ffolkes
— Trevor Jost (@tpjost) December 19, 2013
“I can tell you the size of his underwear.” That’s what Bond… nevermind. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
I could tell you the size of his underwear. Kinky villains. #ffolkes
— Kerry (@echidnabot) December 19, 2013
“Pussycat grin.” Clever choice of words, Norman. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
He had to go. His glasses weren’t thick enough. #ffolkes
— Kerry (@echidnabot) December 19, 2013
Imma say it. It’s really hard to hide @PartyMoore007‘s prettiness with a beard and explicit misogyny. #Ffolkes
— Krissy Myers (@krissy_myers) December 19, 2013
Both my parents died in childbirth. #ffolkes
— Kerry (@echidnabot) December 19, 2013
@EddieLove44 Cousin to “I was born a poor black child…” #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
@AnnaRenee Nope. Strictly in camel. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
@tpjost Maybe if he didn’t have the hood and if it were in black or something akin to it. Orange doesn’t work for him. #Ffolkes.
— Krissy Myers (@krissy_myers) December 19, 2013
I love that he described the wetsuit as vermillion. #ffolkes
— Kerry (@echidnabot) December 19, 2013
Close up shots of wrist watches to add suspense is really a lost art. #Ffolkes
— Mentor (@MentorsCamper) December 19, 2013
The director really captures the aesthetic beauty of a vermillion jumpsuit against a yellow seafaring vessel. #ffolkes
— #Bond_age_ (@007hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
Funny how these security lookouts never think to look down. #ffolkes
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) December 19, 2013
Why is #ffolkes dressed like a sperm?
— Eddie Love (@EddieLove44) December 19, 2013
“Okay, I’m a boy.”. How many women have said that to #ffolkes ?
— Eddie Love (@EddieLove44) December 19, 2013
Love the dueling shots of eyes shifting from clocks to watches. It’s like they’re trying to make me happy. #Ffolkes
— Mentor (@MentorsCamper) December 19, 2013
“I still… don’t like… your face.” Best. Final Words. Ever. #Ffolkes.
— Krissy Myers (@krissy_myers) December 19, 2013
SOMEONE THREW HIM OVER THE SIDE! Brilliant. #ffolkes
— James David Patrick (@30hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
Well, Harris is fired. #Ffolkes
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) December 19, 2013
Only the second weirdest shower scene in an Anthony Perkins movie. #ffolkes
— Eddie Love (@EddieLove44) December 19, 2013
So her and the PM are the only two women he can tolerate? Small victories. #Ffolkes
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) December 19, 2013
Well, that’s better than waking up with a kitty head in his bed. #ffolkes
— Mentor (@MentorsCamper) December 19, 2013
omgkittens!!!!!! #Ffolkes
— Anna Morrison (@AnnaRenee) December 19, 2013
He was all choked up by the kittens! #ffolkes
— Kerry (@echidnabot) December 19, 2013
I love #ffolkes so much.
— Trevor Jost (@tpjost) December 19, 2013
If this was a quip-y 80s Bruce Willis vehicle someone would have said “That’s all #Ffolkes !”.
— Eddie Love (@EddieLove44) December 19, 2013
The triumphant “Awarding the Kittens” theme from #ffolkes
— T. R. Wilcox (@TRWilcox) December 19, 2013
DENIS! salutes IMPOSTORS!, Party Moore, kittens, rampant misogyny and phoning gloves. #ffolkes pic.twitter.com/XzPzERGQDm
— James David Patrick (@30hertzrumble) December 19, 2013
Every action movie should end with the protagonist holding kittens. #ffolkes pic.twitter.com/FFoFCTRjUy
— Trevor Jost (@tpjost) December 19, 2013
@krissy_myers Roger Moore was into Kittens before Twitter made it cool. Hear that, Internet? Bunch of posers! #ffolkes
— Mentor (@MentorsCamper) December 19, 2013
I’m gonna pay for staying up and live-tweeting #ffolkes tomorrow. But it had to be done.
— Eddie Love (@EddieLove44) December 19, 2013