If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “Self, I just don’t have enough vintage John Stamos in my life… and I’m not talking about that Old Uncle Jessie John Stamos I can get on bad network TV… but real, amazeballs 1980’s bitchin’ pre-Uncle Jessie John Stamos,” then you’ll need to tune into #Bond_age_ tonight for NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE.
And no… not only that! Oh no. You’ll also get George Lazenby! That’s right! THE George Lazenby taking roles just to pay the bills.
But I’m far from done with this little slice of heaven from 1986.
The cherry on top of this sundae is Gene Simmons playing the film’s villain Velvet Van Ragnar. I won’t spoil the surprise Gene has in store for you… but trust me… just trust me… you won’t believe it when you see it. Premise? You care about the premise? Okay, so Velvet Van Ragnar murders Lance Stargrove’s secret agent father (and yes, Lance Stargrove is John m’f’ing Stamos) and then it’s full on revenge story with John Stamos gnashing his teeth and Vanity wearing lace doilies from Cracker Barrel that she thinks are “clothes.” I wish I could tell you more. I do.
The show begins at 9pm ET. Follow #Bond_age_ hashtag on Twitter. You won’t want to be late for the first official feature-length #Bond_age_ presentation of 2016. There’s no better way to kick off the new year than by twattering NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE.
Trailer: