@ds3k programmed us some Arabesque as part of the #Bond_age_Choice programming series and then had technical difficulties that prevented her from joining us in the live tweet. We had to fend off Gregory Peck and Sophia Loren with only our wits and a very loose grasp of what was actually happening on screen. If you’ve got any idea what happens in Arabesque, we’d love to get some pointers. In the meantime here’s the Arabesque Live Tweet Digest!
INITIATE THE ARABESQUE LIVE TWEET DIGEST!
INITATE MISSION CHARADE 2! I mean, ARABESQUE! #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
@007hertzrumble Are we going to end up at the end of 2001 after these credits? #Bond_age_ — Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
Titles designed by MAURICE BINDER, everybody. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
IS IT SAFE? #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
Maurice Binder was the only man who could always get naked women and make it professional #Bond_age_
— Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
I’m going to need to see this guy’s license to practice optometry. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
Gregory Peck. Training for his ROCKY audition. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
I always wondered about an Atticus Finch/Bond mashup. Peck as Finch defending Bond #Bond_age_ — Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
If you want to keep your visits to countries secret, perhaps you shouldn’t go around kidnapping people? #Bond_age_
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
Gregory Peck is heretofore known as “Gee Golly Bond.” #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
@deacon05oc This movie, except Goofy in the Gregory Peck role. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
This movie, except with Fred Willard as this guy. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
NOOOO DON’T EAT THE DATES! #ThisILearnedFromRaidersOfTheLostArk #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
@CushingLee All we ever need to know, we learned from Raiders of the Lost Ark. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
There is a steep drop off in this film’s cast. I recognize no one after Peck and Loren. #Bond_age_
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
In case you missed Sophia Loren entering the room, let’s put her win the center of this whirligig. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
“Hello, hello, hello!” Did Peck just do a Cary Grant impression? #Bond_age_
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
Amendment to my Finch/Bond film. Finch travels with Bond on mission giving legal advice #Bond_age_ — Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
Damn it, why doesn’t Sophia Loren show up asking me to zip her up? Or indeed anyone? #Imsoalone #Bond_age_
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
Gee Golly, looks like I found a fortune without the cookie! #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
Every second we waste on these two yokels is a second not spent on Sophia Loren. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
Why is this guy doing a terrible Peter Sellers impersonation? #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
Stanley Donen wanted to again cast Cary Grant in the lead role of ARABESQUE but Cary Grant read the script and said “Hell no.” #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
“It’s just me… and my falcon.” “Is that not a euphemism?” #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
And this is the story of a how a young scrap named Gregory saw boobies for the first time. It’s a madcap romp through middle age! #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
I can’t keep track of all the awkward stiffs in this movie. At least Not Peter Sellers has a falcon. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
I see he went to the Ted Healy school of stooge discipline. #Bond_age_
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
Teller or maybe Larry from the Three Stooges just got bitch slapped. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
We’re officially 30 minutes into this movie and I’m still a bit hazy on whole, well, any of it. What’s going on again? #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
Really? That’s going to make things really awkward if they end up having sex. #Bond_age_ — Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
So far this is the best movie Hitchcock decided not to make #Bond_age_
— Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
This movie sorely needs an ATTACK MACAQUE! #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
I sincerely hope Michael Gough isn’t running this zoo. That could mean trouble. #Bond_age_
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
This zoo needs to reassess its security measures. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
Applies to every movie ever. #Bond_age_ https://t.co/4QXBdBbns3
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
Where are all the people that said they loved this movie? I need some explaining. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
Did someone say LLAMA? https://t.co/g2syQzIPMk #Bond_age_ https://t.co/rhTdHGy59s
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
Great. Now some poor guy is going to show up in the morning to clean dead fish off the floor. That’s evil. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
I can’t fault Sophia Loren because…reasons. And she’s Sophia Loren #Bond_age_
— Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
So if Stiff #4 is slotted into the Walter Matthau role, that mean’s he’s the bad guy right? #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
@4eyesJohnny Marlin Perkins is hooked on goofballs. #Bond_age_
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
Ask me later alligator? Now we’re biting lines from Thunderball? #Bond_age_ — Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
If someone were to diagram all the sides in this struggle, they’re going to have to plot it in 3 dimensions. #Bond_age_
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
Done on ARABESQUE: “Our only hope is to make it so visually exciting the audience will never work out what the hell is going on” #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
That was a Stanley Donen quote in case you couldn’t connect the dots on my typo. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
Does Peck ever stop talking? #Bond_age_ — Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
Water buffalo hallucinations are the f’ing worst, man. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
But this whole movie is some random bull #Bond_age_ — Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
This movie is really just showing us a real bad trip Peck is on, right? #Bond_age_
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
Okay. I figured it out. The script is written in hieroglyphics. That’s the big mystery. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
GAWD. Not Peter Sellers, get out of the frame. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
You’re exhausted, Sophia? You’re not alone. #Bond_age_ — Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
#Bond_age_ It’s obvious why Yusef left her alive. But it’s the 60s so she’s not allowed to spell it out.
— John Drummond (@4eyesJohnny) November 5, 2015
Movies like this are where I wanna slap people who bitch about plot holes in a Bond film. #Bond_age_
— Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
Only Gee Golly Bond would wake up with a hangover. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
So far, Sophia’s wardrobe is the reason to watch this movie. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
@4eyesJohnny Sophia Loren has only one accent: Sophia Loren. #Bond_age_ — Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
@4eyesJohnny Her name is Yasmin Azir, but her purr is all Mediterraneo-Middle Eastern-Slavic-Italo-English. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
#Bond_age_ random closeup shot of Loren lips? That’s OK. Easily the highlight of this film. — John Drummond (@4eyesJohnny) November 5, 2015
And Mancini’s score is nice, even if it’s a bit too aggressive for, well, people talking. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
@deacon05oc Not Peter Sellers is here to remind us that we couldn’t get Peter Sellers. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
And now Sophia will snake charm the Royal Guard. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
Gregory Peck, starring in The Oh, Man! #Bond_age_ — Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
Peck delivers zingers like my 10th grade English teacher. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
NICE! Someone changed the channel to A VIEW TO A KILL. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
#Bond_age_ WTF? The guardsman is a mannequin? If so, how would it brace its fall with its arms?
— John Drummond (@4eyesJohnny) November 5, 2015
This movie is forcing me to rethink my estimation of Gregory Peck as an actor, perhaps even as a human being. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
“Oh, put 10 pounds on Pegasus for me, would you, love?” #Bond_age_
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
NICE! Someone changed the channel to A VIEW TO A KILL. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
“Put 2 dollars on Sun Up!” #Bond_age_
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
ARABESQUE is a remake of THE RED BALLOON, right? Except instead of a balloon, it’s a Tootsie Roll wrapper. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
No f’ing way. I call shenanigans. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
The similarities between the horse racing scenes and the scenes of getting off the train are not lost on me. #Bond_age_ — Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
“This never happened to the other fella. Unless the other fella is Cary Grant in North By Northwest, then it totally did.” #Bond_age_
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
Hey, it’s Sophia Loren’s legs! GET OUT OF THE WAY NOT PETER SELLERS. GODDAMN. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
Attack Canaries. Let’s have ‘em. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
Can you tell the birds to keep it down. I can’t understand what they’re saying and I’m sure it’s important. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
@CatVictory Time’s lost all meaning, quite frankly. #Bond_age_
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
“Even I couldn’t follow this plot, and I’m one of the brightest minds in Nazi Germany!” #Bond_age_ pic.twitter.com/wFQwZ1OpFz — Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
Was that an EMPIRE STRIKES BACK moment right then? Did I miss a subtextual “NO! THAT’S NOT TRUE! THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE?” #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
#Bond_age_ I dig red cars as long as they aren’t green :/ — Cat Church (@CatVictory) November 5, 2015
#GregoryPeckZinger needs to trend. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
It means go to Del Boca Vista. Ask for Morty. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
“What for?” “Your leopard hat is conspicuous. I worry you might be poached.” #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
#Bond_age_ “Follow that car!” “Right, guv!” *Cabbie races off without him* — John Drummond (@4eyesJohnny) November 5, 2015
“Youssef?” “No, me Gregory.” #Bond_age_
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
@007hertzrumble Marty wins. Incognito for most of the mission. #Bond_age_ — Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
Come on Peck. Just stop trying so we can end the movie. #Bond_age_
— Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
Come on give us a shocking. You know you wanna…#Bond_age_ — Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
This side was definitely not OSHA approved. #Bond_age_
— Rev. Magdalen (@revmagdalen) November 5, 2015
#GregoryPeckZinger! #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
#Bond_age_ this has to be the most ineffective & expensive attempt at murder ever
— Cat Church (@CatVictory) November 5, 2015
#Bond_age_ some people would have just used a gun. Just saying. — John Drummond (@4eyesJohnny) November 5, 2015
@007hertzrumble Only watched 2 Girl eps ever. I’m gonna go April. Just to troll Peck. #Bond_age_
— Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
Wait. They had sex? I call shenanigans again. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
Peck seems like the guy who would just apologize after sex. #Bond_age_
— Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
And how can you be clothed while Spohia is naked in bed? #Bond_age_ — Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
So, we’re really just coming right out and calling it a MacGuffin, then? Just say it. Say you’re chasing a MacGuffin. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
I wanna recast this movie with crazy Marlon Brando in place of Gregory Peck. #Bond_age_
— Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
SHENANIGANS!! AGAIN AND AGAIN SHENANIGANS. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
Well played, Gregory. I’ll give the truck bit to you. Well played. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
I had to step away for a bit, so I assume Sophia Loren has changed sides at least 10 times. #Bond_age_ — Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
YOU KNEW! YOU JUST KNEW he would pull out a Diner’s Club card. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
#Bond_age_ part of his job was to be murdered ? Huh ? — Cat Church (@CatVictory) November 5, 2015
Soooo…you did all that to stand there and watch him get shot? #Bond_age_ — Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
#Bond_age_ “Prime Minister, what is your first impression?” “Well, I do a pretty good John Madden.”
— John Drummond (@4eyesJohnny) November 5, 2015
Not that I actually realized this was an assassination plot the whole time. #Bond_age_ — Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
I don’t even have the energy to call shenanigans anymore. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
@revmagdalen Well I’m glad they got started on the spy business with 8 minutes to go. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
Together they’re like Sean Connery. She’s good looking and he just keeps telling everyone that she’s a spy. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
The British economy forces tough choices. #Bond_age_ https://t.co/l9BZ51huet — John Drummond (@4eyesJohnny) November 5, 2015
#Bond_age_ I’ve only seem 20 mins of this & not 1 sec is believable
— Cat Church (@CatVictory) November 5, 2015
Oh so he’s not dead. This where they got the Pushkin assassination for The Living Daylights? #Bond_age_ — Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
I never thought I’d say this… but I’m lamenting the distinct lack of that ATTACK MACAQUE. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
#Bond_age_ They’ll never see me in this flowing white garb in the middle of a field. — John Drummond (@4eyesJohnny) November 5, 2015
I’ve been watching. I swear I have. I assure you. How did we get here? This movie is a bunch of wormholes. #Bond_age_
— Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
That thresher scene was the Austin Powers version of the NxNW cropduster. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
#Bond_age_ This is what happens when you ban guns. Villains are forced to use heavy machinery to commit murder.
— John Drummond (@4eyesJohnny) November 5, 2015
Why isn’t he just sending his Attack Falcon? #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
So she just fell off the horse cuz suspense? #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
#Bond_age_ Sophia should be ashamed of herself. For signing onto this film. — John Drummond (@4eyesJohnny) November 5, 2015
I applaud the movie for knowing what its audience wanted when Peck ripped off Sophia’s clothes for tactical purposes. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
WHO THROWS A LADDER? SERIOUSLY? #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
You know, there comes a point when you really should just give up your assassination plot and get the hell out of Dodge. #Bond_age_
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
@007hertzrumble OK I think you need to call shenanigans again on ladders defeating helicopters #Bond_age_ — Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
Waiting for one last #GregoryPeckZinger. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
“It was my turn!” That’s my guy. #GregoryPeckZinger #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
And of course they both end up in the water. #Bond_age_
— Canucklehead (@GregMcCambley) November 5, 2015
Welp. That was ARABESQUE. I expect a shot-by-shot analysis on my desk from each of you by morning. #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
@CatVictory Freddy > Arabesque. #Bond_age_
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
@GregMcCambley I’d settle for Gregory Peck tonight. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? #Bond_age_ — The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015
Stylish even in the water. Thanks #Bond_age_ crew!!!
— Rev. Magdalen (@revmagdalen) November 5, 2015
This may be blasphemy but I may need Diamonds Are Forever as a palette cleanser after this. #Bond_age_ — Eric Jones (@deacon05oc) November 5, 2015
DENIS! salutes Sophia Loren’s legs, #GregoryPeckZingers and the unrealized potential of ATTACK MACAQUE. #Bond_age_ pic.twitter.com/ZKFOtewKpf
— The #Bond_age_ Guy (@007hertzrumble) November 5, 2015