You asked for James Bond Limericks? No? Well, you’ll wish you had.

An offhand Twitter comment about James Bond Limericks led to a flurry of Limericking among #Bond_age_ fans today. Below you will find the (ongoing) fruits of our labors.

James Bond Limericks - The Living Daylights

@GregMcCambley

In the Living Daylights
we see an actor named Timothy.
He became Bond.
The public they yawned
and he left after two films, not three.

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Bond Limericks - Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd from Diamonds are Forever

@GregMcCambley

Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd
Killing was all they did.
They went after Bond
but both got pwned.
One died by a flipped lid.

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Bond Limericks - Man with the Golden Gun

@echidnabot

There once was a dude called Chris Lee
Who numbered his mammaries three
Maud Adams was thrilled
After each man he killed.
Between deaths Nick Nack called out “Me!”

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Bond Limericks - Telly Savalas in On Her Majesty's Secret Service

@p2wy

There once was a villain named Blofeld
whose villa was flooded by snowmelt
His dungeon was drenched
his henchmen wouldn’t flench
despite his best “Dr. No yell”

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Bond Limericks - Roger Moore and Jane Seymour in Live and Let Die

@p2wy, @kimmiechem2 & @007hertzrumble

There once was a Bond named Moore
whose actions one might deplore.
He starred in seven movies
and saw so many boobies
that you might call him a whore.

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Domino and Largo in Thunderball

 @kimmiechem2

Twas a gal named Domino
with face of lilywhite snow
vowed to avenge
François’s bitter end and so,
killed evil Largo

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James Bond Limericks - Roger Moore and Grace Jones in AVTAK

@filmchild

There was a young man named Roger
who referred obliquely to his todger.
The girls they came.
The villains were tame.
And Grace Jones refused to be his lodger.

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James Bond Limericks - From Russia with Love

@007hertzrumble

Bond adored a girl named Tanya
and said put this negligee on ya.
Then Red Grant boarded the train.
Their “romance” appeared in vain
until Red didn’t know his wine from Champagna.

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James Bond Limericks - Moonraker

@p2wy

There once was henchman named Jaws,
who almost had Bond in his claws.
He saved Bond in orbit
and splashed down to earth with
a buxom young blonde in his paws.

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James Bond Limericks - George Lazenby

@TRWilcox

There once was a man named Lazenby,
who entered the franchise quite brazenly.
He grappled brilliantly with Kojak,
but did the audience to Connery go back?
They left George standing there holding his Dazenby

James Bond Limericks: Twitter phenomenon

by 007hertzrumble time to read: 1 min
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