Hello, #Bond_age_Pod listeners. We’ve been spewing forth our Bond prattle for two years now and quite frankly I don’t know why you haven’t put us on mute… especially after my tirade on the SPECTRE episode. I know we said we were going to revisit SPECTRE with clearer heads but first I want to do something new with the #Bond_age_Pod.
We want to hear you. And not just your Twatter bag tweets. In this wondrous age of digital advancement, you can all appear on the next #Bond_age_Pod.
For this very special episode I’m going to combine two of my favorite things, Seinfeld and James Bond, into one blissful aural cacophony. The #Bond_age_Pod Festivus Special will give you all the opportunity to publicly air your grievances — about James Bond, about the #Bond_age_Pod. Hell, in the spirit of Festivus, we’ll take all your tired, crotchety grievances. We’re goddamn giving.
Here’s how it works:
Record your Festivus grievance in an audio file. You can use a voice recorder on your smartphone or Garage Band on your Mac or I don’t know what you people do with your PC’s anymore.
Introduce yourself: Name, twitter handle, however you want to be identified.
State your grievance: Keep it clean-ish. Pick something from the Bond universe that’s always bothered you, hammered at the back of your skull, like pride f’ing with you.
Skip the feats of strength: We don’t want to know.
Declare something a Festivus Miracle! Pick out something small or otherwise insignificant from Bond. A tossaway line, a casual moment that might not otherwise be noticed. Praise it! Then declare it a Festivus Miracle!
Once you put that recording in the can, send me the audio file at email@example.com.
Sound good? You have until the end of the day on Christmas to send me your audio file for inclusion in the episode. I’ll edit the episode and post it sometime before the new year. Let’s rally the #Bond_age_ troops and make this a Festivus worthy of 53 years of James Bond. If you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an email. If you’d like to have a short Skype conversation with one of our hosts instead, we can arrange that in lieu of a solo recording.
James (@007hertzrumble), Krissy (@Krissy_Myers), Greg (@MisterGreggles) and Keith (@TheActualKeith) have a completely civilized conversation about the 24th James Bond film, Spectre. And by civil I mean at least half of the talking people left the room at some point during the conversation, Jay gets yelly and calls Keith a “beacon of positivity,” Greg tries to play peacemaker while simultaneously disagreeing with everyone and Krissy goes audibly apoplectic. In other news, Keith discusses the origins of his father’s hairstyle, someone brings up Diamonds Are Forever again, and a listener compares Spectre to vanilla ice cream with chunks of arachnid. Just another day on the microphones at #Bond_age_ HQ.
James (@007hertzrumble), Krissy (@Krissy_Myers) and Greg Sacademy (Sahadachny, aka @MisterGreggles) dissect the full-length SPECTRE trailer, dissect a herring, lament the lack of white Bond dinner jackets in Krissy’s lifetime, discuss the finer points of Bond pinball machines and dig into the roots of Greg’s teetotalism. They definitely do not mention Sam Smith or Batman. At all. Not even during the Twatterbag. And if you believe that, they’re also totally sober.
James (@007hertzrumble) and Krissy (@Krissy_Myers) discuss Guy Ritchie’s The Man from U.N.C.L.E. movie and the original The Man from U.N.C.L.E. television show. Did the movie succeed in updating Ilya and Napoleon? Why has the movie been a disppointment? And can they refrain from talking about James Bond for an entire episode? Who knew Henry Cavill was actually good? And what’s Taye Diggs got to do with any of this?
I moonlighted on yet another podcast last week, appearing on the Nerd Lunch Podcast with Carlin Trammel (also of Pod, James Pod). In this episode we were given the ability to wipe a “thing” and a “person” from existence. I chose to erase Diamonds Are Forever and Joel Schumacher. In this episode I also manage to butcher poor John Gavin’s name by repeatedly pronouncing it “Gal-vin.” Poor John Gavin. I must have crossed wires in my head and somehow connected John Gavin with deadball-era, Hall of Fame Pittsburg Alleghenys pitcher Pud Galvin. Just think, if John Gavin had kept that gig as James Bond in Diamonds Are Forever, nobody would have ever butchered his name on a random podcast.
James, aka The #Bond_age_ Guy, aka @007hertzrumble on The Nerd Lunch Podcast
Episode 10: The Tactleneck Special, A Brief History of Spytastic Turtlenecks
James (@007hertzrumble), Keith (@theactualkeith), Krissy (@Krissy_Myers) and Greg (@MisterGreggles) talk about the history of turtlenecks from 15-century cave paintings through Sterling Archer and SPECTRE, with special focus on the turtleneck as a tactical garment.
“GoldenEye 007 Elevator Music 1″ – from the GoldenEye 007 N64 Game
“GoldenEye 007 Elevator Music 2″ – from the GoldenEye 007 N64 Game
“Turtleneck and Chain” – Lonely Island featuring Snoop Dogg
“Razzamataz” – John Travolta
Originally recorded on March 21st 2015.
Copyrights are owned by the artists and their labels. No money is made from this podcast.